Sorry if the stories below offend you. They offend me too, but they need to be told and talked about.
As you may know, I work part time for the military doing physical on military candidates (we used to call them recruits). Recently, one of my partners and I were talking about the History Channel’s “Bible” show when he asked. How can God expect some people to honor their fathers? Then he told me this story:
Some time ago, I examined a young man, 17 or 18 years old, when I examined his genitals I noted the head of his penis had been slice into two pieces. I asked him what happened, his eyes filled with tears. He told me that when he was 8 he had done something wrong so his dad stripped him and whipped him with his belt. The belt buckle slapped around the boy’s body and cut his penis. I asked him what his dad did then. The boy said his dad laughed and said he deserved it. He refused to take him to the doctor for repair. It was awful. I cried, and so did he.”
Tell me, he asked, “how could God expect this boy to honor his father?”
I don’t pretend to know God’s thoughts or limit His mercy, but I dared to offer an answer. “God did not say honor your sire or sperm donor,” I replied. “Which one do you think this man was?”
The day following our conversation, I saw 9 men/boys ranging in age from 17-24. I asked them about their fathers. Only one, a 22 year old, had lived with both of his their single mothers. One lived with his mom and a number of step brothers and sisters while his mother was divorcing “…another one of her husbands.” Five others lived with mom and a step-dad. And, it’s not a racial thing, all these boys/men were white.
On another day an 18 y/o boy told me his mom has six kids by five different men and she wasn’t married to any of them. He concluded that dads just “cum and go!”
One of the big problems in today’s world is that boys and girls lack fathers.
The question really is: How do we train our boys to be responsible men? What can we do to prevent them from inseminating girls without giving a second thought to what happens to the girl, the just conceived baby, or even to themselves? If I knew the answer I would be famous and there would be more kids living with dads they love, respect, and honor.
Many years ago I saw a 16 year old boy for his annual exam. He told me for his birthday present his uncle and his dad took him to a strip club and bought him a pole dance. (I know you’ll think I am more than naive, but I had to ask him what that was. I wish I hadn’t asked!) How can any dad, or uncle, think that is an appropriate gift?
Isn’t it time we started teaching boys and girls to respect each other, as well as themselves? Kids tell me they watch porn they find in their parents homes, play video games which glamorize sex, watch sex filled soaps, and movies.
Many of the boys I see have tattoos with crosses, bible verses, or other religious symbol, yet they have had multiple sex partners without thinking anything could be wrong with that as long as they don’t get an untreatable STD. Do our churches as well as our parents fail to teach right from wrong?
Sorry for complaining, I know I’m an old foggy but, the world seems like it really is going to hell in a hand basket and no one cares. My prayer is that somehow we can become the men and women we wish our kids to become and then help them become the best they can be.
A short answer is: It takes a good man to change a boy into a good man.
Stories like my partner told should make all of us cry. Maybe we can cry (care) enough to make a difference.
God Bless you all!