When we were kids our parents taught us what was right, and what was wrong. Then they helped us judge which kids belonged in which group. In fact, they taught us to discriminate, not base on the color of one’s skin or by the clothes he was wearing, but by their actions.
Today’s kids are at a terrible disadvantage. They are taught at home, in school, and in church never to judge. Parents are warned that they too, should never judge others.
I think our whole society is messed up on this issue. We must judge, we must not condemn! There’s a major difference; a very important difference. Let me explain:
Many years ago Mary and I took one of our kids to his pediatrician, Dr. Ruppa. He was a wonderful doctor, and my mentor. I thought Dr. Ruppa was the best, I still do, and I think the feeling was mutual.
We had just about finished our visit when our five year old son misbehaved in Doctor’s office. He punched his little brother in the tummy. It didn’t hurt, but I was mortified.
“Naughty, Boy,” I chastised through the hole in the front of my red face.
Dr. Ruppa frowned at me and said, “Mrs. Donahue, stay with boys a minute while I talk with Dr. Donahue,” we were all so formal back then.
When the door was closed he looked at me, smiled and said, “He’s not a naughty boy. He did a naughty thing. Good boys often misbehave, but that doesn’t make them naughty. Calling them names and demeaning them in front of others makes them naughty. He felt he was being ignored because we were talking and not being attentive to him. Now, go back in there and love up all three of those wonderful people. Have a good weekend, and I’ll see you on Monday at the hospital.” He shook my hand as was gone.
Dr. Ruppa judged, I condemned!
Last year a Vanderbilt freshman woke up at 2:30 in the morning as his roommate and a group of his friends carried an unconscious woman into the room, put her on the cold tile floor, and took turns raping her. He later told authorities he didn’t want to judge them but didn’t know what to do so he turned over and tried to go back to sleep. My folks would say he had no judgment, or bad judgment at best.
Every day we hear about people who stand and watch hoodlums snatch purses, shop lift, or assault others and do nothing.
Parents and teachers are so afraid of judging they ignore bad behavior. No good can come from that. Kids need to know right from wrong, be able to discern good from bad peers, and judge whom they should associate with. That’s how they learn and parents must teach them.
#judgingothers