How Do Teenagers Overcome Death of a Loved One or Three?

I work a couple of mornings at the Military Entrance Processing Station, MEPS, doing physical exams on candidates for military service, we used to call them recruits but today they are not recruited, they volunteer. I want to call these military candidates “men” and “women”, but most of them are still in high school, so they are really boys and girls.

Last week i saw a boy who had “DAD” tattooed on his left shoulder. Above it were the letters “R.I.P.”. When I asked he told my his dad had been killed two years ago in Afghanistan.  I told him how sorry I was that his dad had to make the ultimate sacrifice. He assured me he and his mom were doing “As well as can be expected,” then added, “Under the circumstances.” As we talked he told me he always wanted to be a Marine like his dad.

He was in perfect shape and qualified to be a member of the USMC. “ Thank you,” he said when I told him. “That sounds so good!”

“Thank you for what you are doing,” I answered. “The world needs more men like you. Take good care of yourself, so you can take good care of our country and me!”  The moment is so serious I like to add a little humor with that “take care of me”. The boys usually smile and when I offer my hand hand, instead of shaking it, they often give me a hug; this one did. I wondered if he was becoming a marine to avenge the death of his dad, or to be like the dad he missed and loved. I’ll never know.

The next boy I saw had a cross tattooed on his chest with three sets of initials on it. “Are these in memory of your grand parents?” I asked.

“No, they are my three best friends. They were killed last year in a car accident. They were like brothers to me.”

I gulped and said how sorry I was. “That must have been very hard for you to get over,” I suggested.

“Sure was,” he replied. “But, I just have to go on and do alone what we all were going to do together!”

He told teary eyed me how a speeding semi truck crossed the mid line and hit them head on! They had no chance. Then he told me about each of the boys, and what they meant to him. (I know I got a little behind, but I think it was worth letting him grieve a bit.)

He qualified to serve in the US Army and I told him so. Congratulating him like I always do. He smiled and thanked me, gave me a big hug and left to defend our great country, himself, you, and me.

These are just two of the wonderful boys who became men at a young age. They probably are not the top students in their class, neither was a sports star; they are just boys who faced a loved one’s death at a young age and did not see it as an excuse to feel sorry for themselves. They decided to get on with life. They are just two of the next greatest generation who have seen sacrifice and death and know the value of life. Pray with me, for their safety.